A few weeks ago I mentioned an article about Radical Honesty that I’d read on Esquire’s website. The article was incredible and, as a result, I decided to write a really great post (how presumptuous of me) about how Radical Honesty could change your life. This weekend I sat down to write that post, when it hit me: What the hell do I know about being radically honest?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a tell-it-like-it-is type person, as most of my friends can attest. But, this weekend, I finally admitted that I’ve been lying to myself for two years, maybe more. Every time I tell people that I like my job, I’m lying–it’s just okay. Every time I say I don’t mind doing something that I don’t really want to do, I’m lying. Every time I agree to take part in something that’s not really “me,” I’m lying. Some may argue that these are just minor “white lies,” but I think it’s these lies that do the most damage because they aid our self-deceit and stymie our growth. How can I even begin to talk about Radical Honesty if I can’t even be truthful with myself?

Asking the Hard Questions

For the past ten years, I’ve done an annual review where I evaluate my progress for the year and set goals for the next. This year, I realized a couple things: I want my life to reflect my goals. If something in my life doesn’t show up in my goals for next year, why is it in my life? More importantly, am I excited about my goals? So, this weekend, I asked myself some hard questions:

• What three things are most important to me and does my life reflect them?
• If I had one week to live, how would I spend it?
• What work do I really want to do?
• What stories do I have to tell?
• What do I want my legacy to be?
• Am I being the real me all of the time?

These questions were difficult to ask, but they made me realize a few things and, in turn, make a few promises to myself. I’d like to share those promises with you:

• I promise to travel more.
• I promise to create a sustainable life filled with freedom, creativity and well-being.
• I promise to challenge myself in business and art.
• I promise to teach others what I learn.
• I promise to create a life filled with great adventures and hell yeah! moments.

What Does This Have to Do With You?

Maybe you’re reading this and thinking, “Okay, what’s the point? What’s that got to do with me?” Well, this week’s posts are going to be about taking stock of where you are and where you want to be next year. The first step in doing that, though, is to be truly honest with yourself. Set goals you care about. If there’s a part of your life that doesn’t have a goal associated with it, maybe you need to be honest about whether it’s really important to you.

What Questions Should You Ask?

You can use my questions or create your own. The important thing is that the questions be meaningful to you; they should make you think deeply and may even make you a little uncomfortable at first. It’s okay, that’s a good sign.

Take time to sit quietly with yourself and ask whatever comes to mind. Don’t filter, just jot down what’s really speaking to your heart. You don’t have to worry about anyone judging your answers, because you don’t have to share them with anyone unless you want to. The important thing is to ask.

On Thursday, I’ll share my annual review with you. I’d like to invite you to join me in doing an annual review for 2011. If you want to read more about annual reviews, check out Chris Guillebeau’s process over at AONC.

What are the hard questions you need to ask yourself? What promises are you going to make for next year?

annual review, radical honesty