It’s so easy to do.

Someone asks you to do something and you say “I don’t have enough time.”

You commit to something that starts to be more trouble than it’s worth and pretty soon you’re telling yourself that “you don’t have enough time” to do it anymore. Sound about right?

But it’s a lie.

Trust me, I know. Earlier this week I found myself defending my disinterest in calling someone by using this exact excuse. And you know what, I got called out: It’s not that you didn’t have the time, you just didn’t want to do it. ”But, but…” I said, searching for a better excuse. Then it hit me: damn, she’s right.

What struck me is that it’s not an epiphany. Several months ago I tweeted about this very thing. But I guess I needed a reminder. We all do. Because, the truth is, it’s the small things we have to stay vigilant about. If we let them, they can pull us in directions we don’t want to go, doing things we don’t want to do.

Doing things you don’t want to do unnecessarily complicates your life.

When you don’t want to do something, you say “I don’t have enough time.” But that doesn’t help anyone because it leaves the possibility that you will do it at some point when the truth is a) you don’t want to do it right now and b) it leaves the other person waiting for that magic time. Leaving someone hanging on is not fair. Eventually they realize you’re BSing and they get mad, or resentful–and now you have to deal with that.

Imagine a Different Way

Imagine if we started replacing “I don’t have the time” with the truth: “I don’t want to do it,” or “It’s not a priority.” That simple change immediately makes things clear for everyone. Check out the example dialogue below and you tell me which one gets the job done:

Example 1

Andrew – “Hey, did you get together with that friend I told you about?”

Janelle – “Oh, yeah, that. I didn’t have time this weekend.”

Andrew – “Oh, that’s cool. Maybe next weekend?”

Janelle – “Yeah, maybe…”

Example 2

Andrew – “Hey, are you still signing up for that Spanish class with me next month?”

Janelle – “You know, it’s just not a priority for me right now with all the projects I have going on.”

Andrew – “Yeah you do have a lot going on. That’s cool.”

Why is this method better?

• Because it’s the truth.
• Because it’s okay for you to say no.
• Because it’s simple, effective and lets everyone know where they stand.

How can this simple change help you?

It will help you get to the core of how you want to spend your time. When you start turning down all of the crap you don’t want to do in the first place, life gets simpler and you start getting more time in your life. You can use that time to focus on your passion.

Making this change also forces people to be more mindful of your time before they ask you to commit to something. It’s easy to just make requests without considering if the person has the time or interest because most of us don’t push back, we just say yes because we don’t want to say no.

But won’t people think I’m rude?

Maybe at first people will be taken aback by your radical honesty. But I promise that they’ll eventually be grateful. Think about it, wouldn’t you rather someone be honest with you than beat around the bush?

Take Action!

Don’t take my word for any of this. Try it out and share your results. I’d love to hear how it works for you.

authenticity, communication, no excuses, truth